"We stand broken before God, and He does not look past our brokenness. He sees our broken souls and spirits and our hurting hearts. In this physical world, where we often bump meaninglessly into each other, ignoring each other's hurt and pain, God does not do that. He sees." - Tim Baker

Do you ever read to escape reality?

Sometimes I wished that I lived in a different world, a world half way between something imagined in a children's book, with its predictable plot and happy endings, and that of an exciting, meaningful, adventure filled world of a really good novel. Everything can be fixed within the space of a few pages.

A September highlight

Yes, simple things amuse me :)

aveces me siento vieja

I'm not ready to be 24.

I feel rushed, like I haven't done the things I'm supposed to have done, like I'm missing out on something important. Time is so impatient with me. I dig in my heals sometimes, I think. Act quite silly. Perhaps to defy Time in futility. Perhaps intent to prove to myself as much as the world that I am not going to become a withered shell of myself, void of laughter and spark, and full only of heavy toils and worries. Perhaps intent to prove that having fun like a child building a snowman, laughing, being silly, that all these are not synonymous with being irresponsible and immature. To assure myself that when I am old, I do not need to stop being me.

3/4 Nurse Angela and counting

Today was my LAST first day of school! :P

This is too funny

Thoughts from Ecuador #3

So this boy came by to visit me a couple days ago. Well, maybe I shouldn't call him a boy anymore. He's 19 now, but still quite the loud-and-in-your-face clown most of the time. At one point he got all quiet and looked at me with complete seriousness. He said, "Angela, can I tell you something?".
"Of course", I responded.
"Well, you know how I'm kinda annoying and just joke around all the time?
(How could anyone NOT notice, I thought to myself :P – but I nodded at him in reciprocal seriousness).
"Well, I want you to know that when I get a girlfriend I will change. I will take life more seriously and try harder at things. I will".

It seemed so funny to me that he would tell me this, not to mention his logic. I mean, why not change NOW so that you can actually get a nice girlfriend? :P. Why wait?

Then it struck me that we are all so much like this fellow sometimes - we are always waiting on something, and THEN we will change whatever it is we know we need to change. After Christmas I will quit smoking, in the spring I will start jogging, when I'm not so busy I will start going to church, after exams are over I will start having quiet times with God, when I have enough money I will stop working all this overtime and spend time with my family, when I'm done university then I will make more mature choices.....

I wonder if the "something"s we wait on ever end. I wonder if our logic is really as funny as my a little Ecuadorian friend's. I wonder what we are really waiting on?

Thoughts from Ecuador #2

Thought it time for a funny story :)

So this past weekend my friend, Luke, and I took a trip to Cuenca in the mountains to visit our friend Daniel. It was SO great just being able to share time together - in laughter and in seriousness. But that's not the funny story.

The funny story begins on the bus, on the way back to Guayaquil. A man got on the bus to sell stuff, which is completely normal for Ecuador. He started out talking about God, and then seemingly randomly announced that he has been drinking his urine for 11 years now. Yes, that's right, his pee. Luke and I both looked at each other thinking that in our tired state we must have completely misunderstood him, but no. He continued his shpeel explaining to us that if WE were to drink our own pee, we would be cured of cancer, indigestion, heart problems, osteoperosis, arthritis, even Alzheimers and bad breath! Annnnnd if we were to BATHE in it, we would never go bald! Amazing! Oh, and did you know that if you are fat and drink your pee you will loose weight too? (maybe 'cause you would completely loose your appetite! ugh). He even had articles from sketchy newpapers and magazines to prove his points. The strange man ended by trying to get us to buy ginsing and viagara pills. Totally didn't catch the connection to the 40 min rant about pee drinking, but it was definitely a good laugh afterwards. The scary part was that a lot of the poor little uneducated Ecuadorians were asking him questions about the pee drinking!! - Should I drink it in the morning or in the evening? How much should I drink? "Oh you start at 1/4 cup a day and work up to drinking everything that comes out". Agh. Oh, and be warned, you shouldn't drink alcohol if you are going to drink your pee. BUT, if you DO, then you should mix your pee with orange juice! :D

Hahaha. Oh funny memories.

Thoughts from Ecuador #1

One thing being here in Ecuador has reminded me of is the lack of permanence in this world. So much has changed - circumstances, neighbourhoods, politics, the church, buses, plans, people, relationships, some things I never thought would change. It´s been hard at times. I guess because I´m just generally not a big fan of change, and I feel like a lot of little perfect memory bubbles I have clung to are deflated now. I tend to hang onto things too tightly. Through all this though, I am reminded again that Jesus is the only permanent, unchangine, unfailing thing that we will ever have in our lives; the ony one whom we can build our life´s foundation on.

I needed the reminding.

The responsibility is our own

The responsibility is our own, to become who we want to be.

I feel like often times we ignore our character flaws, our hang-ups, our bad decisions or we blame them on anyone and anything other than ourselves. We blame our peers, the media, our parents, our spouse, religion, someone else’s bad decision, lack of encouragement and support in our lives, the educational system, even God - anything that has an influence on our lives. We take no onus for who we have become or who we are becoming. Although outside influences can either make it easier or harder for us to move ourselves in a given direction, the responsibility is still ours no matter what hand of cards life has dealt us or what decisions we have made in the past. Everyday is filled with countless choices to be made, countless opportunities to do the right thing or the wrong thing, countless moments that will shape who you will be tomorrow. We cannot afford to sit back and wait for someone to come along who will push, pull, or drag us in the right direction. Complacency, apathy, laziness, willfully shirking seeing who we really are, avoiding taking the responsibility to change what needs to be changed – we can’t afford these things. Although God will never give up on us no matter how slow-going or unproductive His work in us may seem, neither will He barge into our lives unbidden and force us to change or do all the work for us. We are required to do our part in this ongoing process.

...I am writing all of this to myself as much as to anyone else. Take a good look at who you are. Who do you want to be?....now what are you doing to do about it?

"Every man must decide who he will be, whom he will serve and how he will love."
-Dr. Albert Mohler

Challenging statement

“Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.”

- Albert Einstein